Not Worth Reading - Planet Whispers

Saturday, 2 September 2017

Not Worth Reading



Hey Whisperers,

I've pretty much been sitting at my computer for the past half an hour trying to figure out what to write for today's post and I'm still yet to come up with anything. That's the thing about blogging, sometimes you just don't have anything to write. I've had a few ideas and I've sat and wrote an intro, read it back and deleted the post. I just don't know what to write, so instead of writing some half-arsed post i thought that instead of my usual beauty posts, I'd just talk to you. I don't know where this post is going to go, or if I'll even post it, but hey i may as well give it a try. 

So last month was my birthday, yippee, i finally turned 20 and honestly? I was pretty gutted about it. Now don't get me wrong i know that turning 20 is nothing big, but i just feel like I'm not, i don't know, like young anymore? Which believe me i know is stupid I'm 20 not 100 but it's just how i feel. I also got an amazing gift from my friend Georgia and i absolutely love it (review of it coming soon) but at the same time i feel so bad for accepting it because i don't feel like i deserve it. I know that she'll be reading this thinking that I'm being a Muppet but i never know what to do or say when people surprise me with gifts as amazing as the one she surprised me with. I just feel like a crappy friend. 

One of my best friends has also just had a baby and i kid you not it's sent me into a whirlwind of wondering what the fuck i am doing with my life. When i look at my friends it just seems as if they are all working towards something incredible, i mean come on she's just had a freaking baby, her second one at that too! And IBM just sat here working a dead end job, as single as a pringle with literally no life goals or anything to work towards. Like honestly what am i doing? like if you have any idea please let me know because i have zero clue.

My weight has also been playing on my mind a lot these past few weeks, with it being summer I've seen so many bikini pictures plastered all over Instagram, while I'm sat here in my high waisted jeans and baggy tops because i hate my stomach and don't like my arms. I feel like complaining about your weight has become such a taboo subject, it just seems to be shot down. You feel big? Loose weight. You feel too skinny? Eat more. But it isn't that easy, I've gone on diets, I've worked out 5-6 days a week and it got me nowhere. I was miserable. Now don't get me wrong, i know that if i had stuck with it for longer than 3 months i probably would have seen more of a result but i just felt so miserable. I was running on low constantly and i just didn't have the patience for it. My goal for the next year is to start a diet and work out plan, i know it's not going to be easy but i, for once, just need to stick with it.

I think the one thing I've actually been enjoying over the past few months is my blog. I absolutely love it but at the same time i can't help but compare myself to everyone else. Are my pictures good enough? Are my posts the right kind of posts? Am i getting enough views? Is my Twitter following growing? It's become exhausting and i don't know why i am so obsessed with each of those things because i don't actually care about any of it. I started my blog to share how i feel, i know I'm not the biggest beauty blogger in the world and i don't mind if nobody reads my post, but at the same time i feel like I'm a failure if they don't. I just need to start focusing and posting about what makes me happy instead of what i think people would like to read.

Honestly, i don't even know why I've written this post and I'm in two minds about posting it. I've never really been this open and honest with you guys but i think that it's something that i need to start doing more. I love my blog and i love everybody that takes the time out of their day to read it because it honestly does mean the world to me.

Thanks for Reading,
Love Always,
Soph
xoxo

4 comments:

  1. Can I just say your blog is beautiful! OMG! thanks for sharing great post

    jadieegosh

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  2. I've only just seen this you muppet! I know how much you loved it, and if you were a crappy friend I wouldn't have brought it for you!!!

    xx

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  3. I said you'd think i was being silly!!!!

    xx

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